He Was Hosting His Guests While Controlling Me an Ocean Away

He was cooking for his guests. She was in bed an ocean away with her Nora, playing a secret game nobody at that table knew about.

Who needs IRL dates when you've got Lovense? Picture your ideal romantic date: someone cooking dinner, a little flirting, good conversation, maybe some candles and, if you're lucky, a happy ending. Well, mine went a little differently.

For starters, there was an entire Atlantic Ocean between us. The dinner wasn't for me, I hadn't received an invitation, and I was quite literally in bed. Romance is alive and well, apparently.

It started with our usual phone call: some laughing, a little flirting. Then I made the very sensible decision to hand control of my Lovense toy to someone thousands of miles away. Now, I have a ridiculous weakness for a nice voice, and unfortunately this particular person knew exactly what he was doing. Add the fact that I'm naturally quite shy, and you can probably see where this is going.

Then came a slight inconvenience. He had guests. Apparently people expected him to cook dinner for them. Honestly, the audacity. Naturally, I assumed our little fun would have to wait. Except it didn't. There he was, casually preparing dinner, entertaining his guests and somehow still finding time to keep me thoroughly distracted with my Nora. His guests were getting a home-cooked meal while I was thousands of miles away getting a rather different kind of service.

Every so often he'd sneak away just to say something in my ear, knowing full well the effect it would have on me. And when he couldn't sneak away? He'd casually slip little comments into his conversations with his guests. Completely innocent to anyone listening, but I knew perfectly well who they were actually meant for. His guests were having a normal evening. I was apparently participating in a secret game nobody else knew existed. There I was, thousands of miles away, trying not to react every time I heard something clearly intended for me.

The anticipation was ridiculous. I never knew when he'd sneak off again, or when another perfectly innocent sentence would suddenly have a completely different meaning. I'd love to tell you what he cooked, but unfortunately I was a little preoccupied. And somehow, between preparing dinner and entertaining everyone, he managed to keep teasing me. Honestly, the multitasking deserved some sort of award.

The funny thing is, this wasn't even supposed to be a date. Just two people having fun who happened to have rather good chemistry. But what followed were more late-night calls, movie nights, gaming dates, conversations about absolutely nothing and occasionally falling asleep together on the phone.

And I think that's what makes Lovense dates different. The distance doesn't necessarily take away the intimacy. Sometimes it makes the little things even more exciting.

My advice? Find someone who makes you laugh, someone you're genuinely comfortable with, and someone who understands that sometimes the anticipation is better than knowing exactly what's coming next. Because apparently, the most dangerous part of giving someone control of your toy isn't what they might do with it. It's finding out you quite like their company when they've stopped using it.