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New to Sex Toys? Learn How to Buy Your First Vibrator

Looking for your first vibrator? Congratulations, you’re about to join the rather large club of happy men and women. But what do you need to know before you whip out your credit card?

 

Size matters

 

And not in the “Go big or go home” sort of way. It’s more of a girth/thickness thing, and, in my opinion, more important than length – those extra inches won’t mean much if the stretching is uncomfortable.

Although there is an “average” size concept (most run between 1-2 inches, so break our your ruler and check), it means little because every woman/man is different. Your best bet is to do a comparison of your past experiences and think which penis felt the best. Was it slim or the width of a coke can? And if you’re not sure, I would suggest going for something on the thinner side the first time.

 

After that is sort, then you can think about how long you want it.

 

Know how you orgasm

 

There’s a reason the most popular toys are rabbit vibrators – most women can’t reach orgasm through penetration and need clitoral stimulation. If that’s the case, make sure your purchase has the extra arm or vibrates. There is also option of something with bumps or texture.

 

 

 

Shape or Style

 

Nope, they’re not just straight shafts. There are:

 

 

  • G-spot toys (which have a slight curve or bump at the end)
  • Vibrators (dildos that buzz)
  • Eggs (tiny vibrators)
  • Rabbit vibrators (which have a clitoral arm as well as the shaft)
  • Strap Ons (not the harness, but the actual dildo, which should have a special flared base to fit in the O-ring)
  • Strapless (like a strap on but without the harness)
  • Porn Star Molded (yep you can get copies of some guy’s shlong)
  • Double Ended (for fun with a partner)
  • Squirting (some of tubes that will shoot out fake semen)
  • DIY (Clone-A-Willy makes kits to mold your man’s cock)

 

Material

 

This is as equally important (if not more) as the shape. The industry isn’t that regulated and there’s a lot of stuff out there that will do terrible things to your body. You’ll want to stick to safer materials like medical grade stainless steel or silicone, wood or ceramic that is properly sealed, or glass that is made from either sodalime or brossilca and is crafted to have a few stress points as possible. ABS (hard) plastic is also okay. All of these are non-porous and therefore won’t retain any of the liquids, fluids, bacteria etc. that could get left behind or develop on the toy (yes, your toy can grow mold if you don’t take care of it properly)

 

Silicone is known to have different feelings to their finishes. A little “drag” is normal and can be fixed by adding a little lube (which is a good idea with all insertable toys). If you’re not sure which lube to use, check out this detailed article.

 

Material also ties in with how firm, rigid, and flexible the toy can be, which, in turn, affects how it feels. This is also another area that lands within “personal preference”. If you have no idea, go for something in the middle range.

 

____Proof

 

Splash-proof, waterproof, and water resistant. You’ll hear all these terms thrown around the description section of most toys. Waterproof is the only option that can be submerged entirely. The rest can only get splashed on (like in the shower). You’ll also need to be more careful cleaning them because if water gets inside, it could destroy the internal components. Solid toys with no electrical parts obviously won’t have this issue.

 

Bases

 

You could get freaky and try a mythical creature dildo

 

It’s worth mentioning the bottom of the toy. There are suction cup options if you want to stick it to a wall, floor, or in the shower. If you want a toy for anal play, it MUST have a flared base so it doesn’t get lost up the colon. No flared base = no butt play. Also, if it takes batteries, double check the cap/lid/whatever comes off easily and seals well enough to make it at least splashproof.

 

Buy from reputable sellers

 

This means not Ebay or Amazon. These two places are ripe with knockoffs that advertise certain materials and quality etc. but 90% of the time don’t deliver. Case in point: I bought a set of Duotone kegel balls that claimed they were 100% silicone … and they melted like a snowman in a furnace when I put them to the flame test. Fail. I also have heard horror stories of some returned toys being … resold. You won’t have to worry about something like that from (for example) Lelo. The big makers would never risk the

 

If they’re super cheap, they’re probably crap.

If it’s a well-known brand out of a not-well-known sell, they’re probably crap.

 

Aneros, Crystal Delights, Divine Interventions, Happy Valley, Fun Factory, Je Joue, Jimmy Jane, OhMiBod, Tantus, Tenga, We-Vibe, Lovense, Bad Dragon … just to name a few.

 

These two websites are also information gold to any sex toy lover - holisticwisdom.com and dangerouslilly.com

 

Budget

 

Cheap usually means crappy … but not always.

Expensive usually means good … but not always.

 

It all comes down to how much money you want to blow on your first toy. It could be devastating to drop two hundred bucks just to hate the thing. The good news, there are PLENTY of middle range toys that will only run you around $60. That’s where I would try to land.

 

Other things to remember:

 

Is there a warranty? What does it cover? (I bought a wearable Je Joue with long distance pen remote, and the woman said that the toy had a 1-year money back guarantee. I tried it, hated it, and brought it back 2 weeks later. They then said, “Sorry, we can’t take it back. The toy might be declarable, but the pen remote takes batteries and those only have a 1-week return policy).

 

If it’s a vibrating dildo, battery operated ones generally aren’t as powerful as USB rechargeable.

 

Motors and vibrations are a personal thing … what works for one person might not work for another. Person A might love the lightest of tickles, while Person B could prefer deep rumbles. Just remember, not all motors are created equal.

 

 

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